


plan b

by surelytothesea (fourhorsemen)



Category: X Men, X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Humor, Gay Mutant Road Trip, M/M, Scheming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7702801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourhorsemen/pseuds/surelytothesea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“I think you guys should go on another road trip,” Raven said, out of the blue...</i>
</p><p>  <i>“A… road trip?” Charles inquired, eyebrow still raised, mouth pursed in consternation. Erik had turned towards them as well, clearly they’d finally caught his attention.</i></p><p> <br/>In which scheming mutant children aim to get Charles and Erik together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	plan b

“I think you guys should go on another road trip,” Raven said, out of the blue. Alex snorted. Out of the  _blue_. Probably a good idea not to say that particular joke out loud. 

Charles looked at her questioningly, blue eyes wide and eyebrow raised in that way that made him look like a confused, adorable teenager instead of a 30-year-old man who was their mentor. Did he just say the Prof was adorable?Shit, he needed help. 

“A… road trip?” Charles inquired, eyebrow still raised, mouth pursed in consternation. Erik had turned towards them as well, clearly they’d finally caught his attention. Seriously, Erik was the worst dad ever when it came to actually paying  _attention_ to anyone but Charles. 

“Yeah, man. The one where you and Erik picked up me, Alex, Angel and Darwin, you know,  _that_ road trip,” Sean replied, placing suggestive emphasis on  _that_. Angel shot him a look that said, “could you  _be_ any more obvious?” Alex rolled his eyes at her and gave Sean a discreet fist bump behind their backs, to which he grinned like an idiot. 

“There’s no need for another,” Erik said dismissively, before Charles could probably say something similar. Charles shot him a grateful look he thought no one noticed, but really, as if they didn’t all know they had some weird mental communication thing going on all the time. They were teenagers but they weren’t  _stupid_.  

“Don’t you think it’s weird though?” Alex blurted quickly, urging Hank with a look that positively screamed “help me out bro” (at least he hoped it did). Charles looked at him suspiciously and Alex’s eyes grew wide.  _Shit, telepath_ , he thought and immediately started humming  _Row, row, row your boat_ in his mind. Charles gave him another weird look and then turned to Hank, who was babbling… something. 

“Yeah! It’s weird. We’re only eight people and Agent MacTaggert doesn’t stay here anyway. The mansion’s kind of  _huge_!” Hank exclaimed and looked around awkwardly when no one cottoned on to the point he was making. Alex glared at him. “Don’t you think… Don’t you think there should be more people in here?” Hank said weakly and then looked away quickly, rubbing the back of his head with a hand. 

Huh. That was actually a good point. Too bad Hank was busy wanting to be swallowed up by the ground to see the grateful, admiring looks everyone was shooting the nerd. 

“Well, I suppose… we could always go find more mutants using the list we originally generated using Cerebro…” Charles said thoughtfully and Alex gave a mental fist bump.  _Yes_ , the trap was set. Charles looked at Erik for assurance, who looked less than convinced. 

“I don’t see how having any more out-of-control mutant teenagers to train will help us. It’s best not to rush into this,” Erik intoned, without inflection (or care, Alex grumbled to himself). Raven’s loud and affronted “what?!” made everyone turn to stare at her at once. Her eyes widened in a very clear, “oh shit I said that out loud didn’t I” expression. Judging by Charles’ amused smile, that’s definitely the exact sentence that went through her head just now. 

“I mean, I mean… Seriously Charles?!” she whined, giving them all a pointed look to join in. Oh, apparently it was time to commence ‘Plan B: Be Whiny Teenagers’. Raven and Angel nodded at each other before simultaneously bursting into their own, well-prepared diatribes. 

“There are like two girls here.  _Two_. I’m drowning in all this testosterone,” Angel burst out and flung her arms about for good measure. Raven gave her a thumbs up before turning to Charles and unleashing her very best: the most drawn-out, nasally “ _Yeaaaah_!” ever. 

“Dude I don’t know if you noticed but some of us don’t exactly get along. Like, if I have to see Bozo’s face one more time, I’m going to blow something up,” Alex threatened, giving Hank a (fake) death glare. Hank looked both furious and terrified, so Alex definitely succeeded.   

“I- I don’t like you very much either!” Hank said indignantly to Alex, which was when Charles actually started to look alarmed. ( _Of course_ , why didn’t Alex think of  _that?_ Plan A should have just been Hank throwing a tantrum. Charles’ star pupil? Throwing a fit? DEFCON 3 scenario right there.) 

“Sean’s always stoned and that makes me uncomfortable,” Darwin whined, well, attempted to whine. Alex didn’t think Darwin was capable of any negative emotions. Sean let out a yell and moved to tackle Darwin which was when Erik threw his hands up and roared “SHUT UP” at them. 

No seriously, roared. Everyone shut right the fuck up. 

“This is ridiculous. You are not children. You can deal with each other. As you said, the mansion is incredibly large. No one said you have to converse with each other,” Erik said and judging by Charles’ horrified look, that was totally not something they agreed upon. 

“Erik! That is hardly a solution!” Charles admonished and then looked at them all with wide, sad eyes. 

“I had no idea you all felt this way!” Charles said despairingly. Alex felt bad for a second because Charles’ eyes were all blue… and teary … Alex had to take a moment to look under his foot and see if he hadn’t accidentally stomped on a puppy because Charles looked  _devastated_. 

Everyone gave Charles their best angry, depressed teenager expressions. Charles uttered a quiet, “oh,” and deflated, looking at them all like someone had shot his favourite aunt. Then, he took a deep breath, gave Erik a measured look in which they communicated through Charles tilting his head and Erik glowering at him with furrowed brows, and then turned to face them all with hands clasped behind his back.

“Well, there is nothing else to be done. Erik and I accept. We will go in search of more mutants,” Charles said gravely. Everyone whooped and Raven gave Angel a high-five. (Sean almost gave Darwin one before catching himself just in time). 

“ _But,”_ Erik said, picking up right where Charles left off and Alex exchanged wary looks with the rest. Trust Erik to be a buzzkill. 

“While we are gone. You are all going to  _get along_. Clean the entire mansion from floor to ceiling. Whine to each other about it. I don’t care what it takes…but if we come back to something like what you guys did to that CIA facility room, there will be  _hell to pay_ ,” Erik said menacingly and Alex shivered. Fuck, he was scary. Sean looked white as a sheet, probably remembering the time Erik shoved him off a satellite. 

“Well, nothing so drastic!” Charles chuckled good-naturedly, and gave Erik a fond look that made it clear to everyone he hadn’t ever been acquainted with the unspeakable horrors Erik Lehnsherr was capable of. Hopefully, he never would be, Alex thought with a grimace. 

“Hank, if you would so kind as to provide us with a copy of that list? I will inform Moira and tell her to keep an eye on you kids,” Charles said with a paternal smile. He and Hank walked away, Erik following behind, shooting one last suspicious look at them as he went. 

When he was finally gone, they all gave a simultaneous sigh of relief. 

“Mission successful,” Raven said with a grin and Sean finally gave Darwin that high five. Alex grinned. Now, time to wait for the results. 

 

* * *

 

_3 weeks later_

 

“Erik,” he heard someone giggle breathlessly, “that’s  _hardly_ appropriate, we’re about to enter a house full of children!” the voice said teasingly. Charles, definitely Charles, Alex thought. Holy shit, Charles! Alex shot straight up to his feet from where he was sitting on the stairs by the entrance, doing well… nothing.  

“They’re back! They’re back!!!” Alex shouted at the top of his lungs and immediately Raven came skidding down the stairs, almost tripping and cracking her head if it weren’t for Hank, who was right around the corner, coming from his lab, probably. Wherever that was. They had that gross moment of lovey-dovey eye connection like Charles and Erik always did (Actually, if Alex were to probably categorize  _that_ , it was less lovey-dovey and more in the vicinity of  _intense eye-sex_ ). 

Angel came flying into the foyer, wings fluttering. Next were Darwin and Sean, who were strangely very chummy now. Moira was out, because no one wanted any heterosexual distractions for either Charles or Erik, nope. Seriously, no. Which left… wait. Alex was literally the only chump waiting around for their honorary mom and dad to come back, what the hell. He forgot this worrying train of thought when Charles and Erik entered the mansion.

“Oh! You’re all right here, waiting for us! What a delight,” Charles exclaimed happily while Erik looked like it was anything but a delight, as he totally inconspicuously removed the hand he had wrapped around Charles’ waist. Alex glanced at Raven, who looked like the cat that got the canary. And all the other birds too. Pretty much the cat that got all items of food available, ever, all to herself. It was her master plan after all. 

Sean was a bit more outspoken about his satisfaction.

“I knew it! You two hooked up!” he cackled, then his eyes widened to the size of the Xavier family’s fine china dinner plates and he looked like he was about to faint out of sheer terror. Raven, Angel, Darwin, Hank and Alex all groaned varying pitches of “ _Seeeean”_ at once.  

Charles and Erik stared at Sean nonplussed. Then slowly, Charles began to smile and then downright  _beam_. He gave Erik a look of wonder before turning back towards them.

“You did this all… for us?” he said in an awed whisper, voice wobbling and eyes gleaming. Oh shit was the Prof going to cry? Fortunately, he didn’t, but he did bite his lip, probably to stop his smile growing so wide that his face cracked… or something. 

Even Erik looked pleasantly surprised… and kind of touched. Alex felt like he’d walked into the Twilight Zone. Did Charles accidentally pick up an Erik doppelganger and the real grumpy Erik was actually tied to a chair somewhere? Everyone looked at each other and they slowly nodded in unison. 

“Thank you, oh you’re all such  _perfect_ children,” Charles gushed and Alex felt kind of awkward being labelled a  _child_  but also sort of warm in his… chest region. Maybe he should get that checked out by Hank, he didn’t want his plasma beams going haywire. That must be the reason for that warm feeling. The Twilight Zone feeling continued when Erik actually  _smiled_  at them. 

Then, that smile turned into a smirk. Right, okay, back in the real world.

“Well, since this was all your orchestration. I suppose none of you will mind if I do this,” Erik said smugly before pulling Charles towards him with an arm around his waist and kissing him smack on the mouth, with  _tongue._ There was a chorus of “ _Gross!”_ as they continued to suck face - oh fuck, did the Prof just  _moan -_ and they all scattered. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

It didn’t occur to them much later that there had been an actual motive behind that second road trip, besides getting their adoptive parents to hook up. 

It occurred to them when there was suddenly a fucking  _rainstorm_ in the living room with some chick in the middle of it and some jerk with wings who had a ridiculous name full of ‘W’s started flirting with Angel.

It was alright though. Kind of.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> For an [ _anonymous prompt_](http://jamesmcgoaway.tumblr.com/post/148588273281/how-about-the-children-scheming-to-get-oblivious) given to me on my tumblr (jamesmcgoaway).


End file.
